100,000 visitors and still no movie deal

We don't often toot our own horn here at The Man Rules -- it's poor form, and besides, we can never remember where we left the darn thing -- but we wanted to recognize a significant milestone we reached recently.

No, not finally learning how to twerk ... we tried that once, and people are still finding parts of our spine as far away as Eastaboga. Our milestone is even MORE impressive (if you can imagine that): We hit our 100,000th visitor to our little blog!

We were frankly dumbfounded when this milestone was reached. When we started this blog, way back in July 2012, we figured we'd get maybe a few hundred folks to read it, and then we'd get a megablockbuster publishing deal and retire to an island in the Caribbean, enjoying drinks served to us in coconut shells while we laid on the sand and burped occasionally. We've mastered the burping part, but everything else in that plan is still on hold.

Still, 100,000 visitors is nothing to sneeze at. Oh, I know the really big blogs out there, the blogs by the important deep thinkers like Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber, probably laugh at such a paltry number. They probably get 100,000 visitors to their blogs before breakfast each day, just to see what those deep thinkers are wearing or if they've been arrested again.

But we're just a little blog from Alabama, with almost no promotional or marketing budget. (At our monthly staff meeting, we always face a major decision: Should we spend that month's marketing budget on the blog, or use it to buy a 20-oz. Diet Coke? So far the Diet Coke has won every time.) All we've got going for us is word-of-mouth from loyal readers like you, plus six people in Ghana who drop by occasionally to see if we've insulted their homeland again.

So we're proud of our achievement, and we'd like to take a few moments here to thank the little people who have helped make this blog the runaway success that it is:

• Thomas Edison, for inventing electricity;
• Benjamin Franklin, for discovering electricity, so it could then be invented by Thomas Edison;
• Al Gore, for inventing the Internet, without which Internet blogs would be really difficult to access;
• And the thousands of guys who, every single day, do amazingly stupid things that occasionally get reported in the news and serve as the basis for many of our Man Rules. (Coming soon: a Man Rule about not sticking portions of your anatomy into a vacuum cleaner.)

One last note: If you're one of the 12 regular readers of this blog, you probably assumed (as we did) that the blog post that put us over the top for our 100,000th visitor was the now-classic Man-Rule: Don't Wear Baseball Caps Backwards. It's far and away the most popular post we've ever written, and if we ever do get a blockbuster movie deal, it will be a Major Guest Star. But you'll be just as shocked as we were to learn that the 100,000th visitor actually stopped by to read Now I've seen it all: The Clap-Off Bra. Which is a great little post, and we love it to death, but it's not what we'd like to be remembered for, you know? I mean, very few people want their tombstone to read "He wrote a famous blog post about underwear that falls off."

So it's somewhat ironic that the clap-off bra post was the one that put us over the top. We're sure this says something noteworthy and insightful about our society as a whole, but danged if we can figure out what it is.

(c) 2014 John Puckett

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