HP Sauce: Cashing in on the Popularity of The Man Rules

I knew this would happen eventually.

I'm talking about the impact of the runaway popularity of this blog and the book The Man Rules (with worldwide sales rapidly approaching double digits!). It was only a matter of time before others attempted to cash in on the worldwide societal shift occurring as a result of my tireless efforts to help guys become Men.

The most famous sauce you've never heard of, HP Sauce, has announced a new marketing campaign based on Man Rules. HP Sauce is made in England

"With the Sauce of Manliness campaign, we wanted to grab the attention of young men, with packaging that really ‘spoke’ to them," said Lucy Clark, senior brand manager for HP Sauce, as reported in The Drum. "The new labels will remind consumers that HP Sauce is the ultimate sauce of manliness and the perfect condiment to enjoy in a bacon sandwich.”

This is the kind of forward-thinking approach to food that has made England synonymous with fine dining the world over. Who else would ever dream of having a manly sauce, marketed to men, with a campaign featuring Man Rules, being run by a woman?

I don't mean to cast aspersions on Lucy Clark. I'm sure she's quite the expert on manly sauces. But I can't help but wonder if SHE has written a book about Man Rules, the way OTHER experts have. Somehow I doubt it. 

But I'm sure she's a fantastic marketer. I mean, get a load of this marketing ploy: The campaign will feature slogans on 1.4 million bottles of HP Sauce, such as "Makes a sandwich a manwich." Whoo-wee! I NEVER would have thought of that one! I feel more manly just by READING that!

And what's with the line "the perfect condiment to enjoy in a bacon sandwich"? Why a bacon sandwich? Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. You're limiting your marketing reach, there. Don't specify what type of sandwich people should use HP Sauce on, or even narrow things down to just sandwiches. Use your imagination! Let them pour it on everything! Say something like, "It's the perfect condiment to put on sandwiches, pickles, dachshunds, Volkswagens, beer, toupees, bellybuttons, and most anything else you desire." See how much broader that is? You'll sell a lot more bottles that way, trust me. 

I know what you're thinking: You're thinking, "John, was HP Sauce ever known as 'Wilson's Gravy'?" And amazingly enough, the answer is yes. In the 1960s, the Labour Prime Minister in England was Harold Wilson. His wife, Mary, gave an interview to The Sunday Times in which she said, "If Harold has a fault, it is that he will drown everything with HP Sauce." So for many years, HP Sauce was also called Wilson's Gravy. Sadly, this was actually a big misunderstanding; what Mary Wilson really said was " ... he will drown everything with happy sauce," which was his term for Bushmills whiskey. 

Anyway, I wish Lucy Clark and HP Sauce more success than you can shake a gravy boat at. Unless, of course, some of the Man Rules they feature on the bottles of HP Sauce are plagiarized from here. So all you HP Sauce eaters and dachshund owners in England, I need you to keep track of the Man Rules they list on the bottles. If you see any Rules that we've covered here, such as "Never Stick an Eel Up Your Butt" or "Never Pick Your Nose While Driving Your Car," please drop me a line and let me know, so Lucy and I can have a little chat. 

Of course, such a meeting is likely to be confrontational, to say the least. I'll have to mentally prepare myself. I plan to liberally coat my bellybutton with happy sauce. 

(c) 2013 John Puckett