Man-Rule: Have a Lot of Money, Part II

So last time here at The Man Rules, we began discussing the single most important Rule to follow to be a Man: Have a Lot of Money. Because this Rule is so vital, and because some people can't seem to figure out how they can have a lot of money, I started a list - out of the goodness of my own heart - of some jobs you can do to earn a lot of money. Last time, we talked about becoming a Famous Movie Star. Today, we'll take a look at

Simple Job #2 to Become Rich: Millionaire Playboy


In some respects, being a millionaire playboy is even better than being a famous movie star, because famous movie stars still have to work to earn their money. This work consists of flying to someplace like France or the Bahamas for six weeks and filming a movie with beautiful and famous actresses, so it’s not like they’re being punished. However, they do still have to show up on time and spend upwards of twelve hours a day with these beautiful and sometimes naked women to earn their $10 million, so you can understand why they occasionally overdose on drugs or alcohol to get away from the intense stress and pressure of their lives.

Millionaire playboys, by contrast, don’t face the same issues as famous movie stars. The best way to become a millionaire playboy is to inherit a lot of money with no strings attached. In some cases, though, when you inherit the money you also inherit the business that made the money in the first place, and that may mean you have to go into an office every day and do actual work with spreadsheets and meetings and whatnot. This will significantly cut into the “playboy” aspect of the “millionaire playboy” job description, so my advice would be to sell the business as soon as possible to someone with a lot of money, such as Microsoft or Jack Nicholson.

The one drawback to being a millionaire playboy is the possibility that you’ll have to become Batman. Now, Batman is without question the epitome of a Man. Talk to any comic-book geek and he’ll tell you how Batman can defeat anyone in the known universe, including Superman and Chuck Norris AT THE SAME TIME … if he’s prepared. In fact, here’s a fun game to play with a comic-book geek: Tell him you think Spider-Man can beat up Batman, then step back and watch the spittle fly. Try it! It’s a hoot.

The problem, though, is that being Batman is kind of a full-time gig, what with supervillains trying to take over the city or plotting your destruction every day. My advice is to move somewhere else, where there aren’t any supervillains, and where you can focus on being a millionaire playboy full-time. To tell you the truth, I don’t know why Bruce Wayne never thought of that.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Gosh, John, thanks so much for offering not one, but TWO options to get rich and have a lot of money! How can I ever thank you?" While large cash donations are always cheerfully accepted here at The Man Rules (suitcases of unmarked bills in small denominations, preferably 20s, are best), I'll ask you to hold your remunerative appreciation, because we're only halfway done! That's right - although I've already provided, at no charge, TWO simple ways to get lots of money, I've still got two more to come! I'm just the gift that keeps on giving.

Next time: Simple Job #3 to earn lots of money!

(c) 2013 John Puckett