Man-Rule: Don't Call in to Sports-Talk Radio Shows, Part II

Last time, we talked about guys who call in to sports-talk radio shows who don't understand the delay, and who sound like idiots as a result. This is not Manly.

In today's edition (part II of III), we're discussing the guys who apparently get stage fright when they realize they’re actually on the radio. It's almost like they didn't realize they were calling a radio talk show when they dialed, and discovering that they're now broadcasting their thoughts to thousands of people causes their brain to go into vapor-lock. At least, I hope that’s the case, because otherwise the people who know them in real life must go through a living hell whenever they have to talk with them:

Host: Elmo is on line 2. Hi, Elmo.

Elmo: Hey, I wanted to, uh … to, uh … talk about, uh … the, uh … you know, basketball game …
Host: Okay, go –

Elmo: … last night.

Host: Right. Go ahead, Elmo.

Elmo: Yeah, I, uh … watched that, uh … that, uh … game.

Host: Right. I figured that. What did you think?

Elmo: It was, uh … it was, uh … a, you know, a good game. I thought … you know, I thought … I thought the referees were, uh … were, uh … you know, keeping them in it.

Host: Keeping who in it?

Elmo: The other, uh … the other, uh, you know … team.

Host: So you think the refs were biased in the game?

Elmo: Yeah, uh … yeah. Plus, you know, you know, Stewart, you know … he missed some, uh … he missed some, uh … he missed some, you know, shots …

Host: Why do you th-

Elmo: … he usually, uh … you know, makes.

It's a good thing I'm not a host of a sports-talk radio show, because otherwise I'd use my Phone Line Energy Burst Weapon to shoot 100,000 volts through the wire and fry callers like this. And if the radio station I worked at didn't have a Phone Line Energy Burst Weapon, I'd invent one.

Tune in next time for Part III, when we'll cover the idiot callers who use the radio to argue with each other when they're not even on the air at the same time.

(c) 2012 John Puckett