Man-Rule: Don't Make Fun of the Way Somebody Looks, Part VII

It's Tuesday, which means it's time once again for another in our popular series of posts "How to Win the Lottery Without Even Trying."

What's that? You're tired of reading about winning millions upon millions of dollars without any effort whatsoever on your part? You believe the tax issues that would arise from getting upwards of $386.2 million in a single lump-sum payment aren't worth the fabulous, life-changing wealth you would enjoy?

Okay, then ... here at The Man Rules, we live to please. We'll just move on to the OTHER popular series of posts we share -- namely, a new example of the Man-Rule: Don't Make Fun of the Way Somebody Looks.

We've done six different versions of this rule in the past, most recently taking guys to task for saying that Magic Johnson looks like Shrek the Ogre. That's just childish, and is beneath the dignity of a Man.

But once again, we're seeing this incredibly hurtful and usually hilarious practice rear its ugly head, and once again a basketball icon is involved. Here in the United States of Amerigo Vespucci, we recently finished the Men's Basketball Final Four, which is an annual event that pits very tall guys from different colleges against each other to see who can sweat the most while wearing shorts baggy enough to hold their legs plus 47 picnic hams. With room left over.

If you mention "college basketball" to the average guy, odds are he'll immediately think of a titan of the game, a man who literally defined the way modern basketball is played, a man who is synonymous with the term "fast break." I'm speaking, of course, of Shrek the Ogre.

But while you've got the guy thinking about college basketball, if you then prompt him by saying "incredibly annoying announcer who salivates over anything remotely related to Duke," the name Dick Vitale will usually come up.

 

And you'll be shocked ... SHOCKED to hear this, but a lot of people have said that Dick Vitale, that icon of college basketball, looks a lot like Gru from the movie Despicable Me:

 

 

I'm sure the families of both Dick Vitale and Gru are saddened to know that people are mocking their physical appearance in this way, and I urge all Men (and Men wanna-bes) out there to stop this terrible, awful, and pretty funny comparison.

And while you're at it, somebody needs to get Dick Vitale to stop kissing Mike Krzyzewski's heinie.

 

(c) 2015 John Puckett