Man-Rule: Don't Climb Into Your Appliances

Last year, we posted a Man-Rule that we honestly thought we'd never have to explain: Don't Stick An Eel Up Your Butt. This is one of those things that SOUNDS like it should be fairly obvious, but apparently it's not, because some guy did this very thing.

Today's Man-Rule falls in that same category. Just when we start to worry we'll run out of subjects to cover in this blog, we've learned to read the news dispatches from Australia, and all is right with the world again. In the Land Down Under, weirdness is apparently an art form, and it comforts us to know that the entire population of that fair nation is determined to provide material for our blog for centuries to come.

Today's news nugget comes from the Australian Broadcasting Company, which reported that a man in Mooroopna, in northern Victoria, became stuck in his washing machine.

There's more: He got stuck because he was trying to hide while playing a game of hide-and-seek. That's right - he climbed into his top-loader. "Nobody will EVER find me here!" he was probably thinking, as he attempted to coil himself around the agitator.

And as I'm sure you've already guessed, he was naked. Because who would try to hide in a washing machine with their clothes on? 

Fortunately, emergency crews were able to extract the man after 20 minutes of effort by greasing him up with  olive oil. I can't speak for you, but that's one sentence that I never thought I'd type. 

First Constable Luke Ingram, one of the emergency responders who helped get the man out (and wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall when Luke went home and told his significant other about HIS day), had two wonderful quotes in the story.

"My advice would be for people not to climb into appliances," he said. Luke tends to cut right to the heart of the matter. I think I'd like him. Although based on his next quote, I'm not sure about his job, or, frankly, any of the other people in Mooroopna:

"Obviously, that causes a number of issues as we've seen on the weekend."

Maybe I'm reading that wrong, but it sounds to me like more than one person climbed into an appliance over the weekend in Mooroopna. I bet there were people stuffed into ovens and crammed into dishwashers all over the place. My advice: If you're ever invited to a friend's house in Mooroopna, go and enjoy yourself, but don't stay for a meal. 

God only knows what they do with their blenders there. 

(c) 2014 John Puckett