Can you feel the excitement in the air? It feels a little like pocket lint.
We're on the verge of beginning to start the commencement of the kickoff of one of the most highly anticipated contests in the history of the world (or at least the history of the last six minutes) - the first-ever Deathmatch Showdown between the United Kingdom and Canada to determine which country can get more people to visit this blog in a week's time. Billions of people in countries all over the world are waiting with bated breath to see what happens!
No, not with this contest; they're watching "Dancing with the Stars." They don't know this blog exists.
Anyway, I thought I'd give you a quick update on the numbers as they stand today, before the contest kicks off at 12:01 a.m. CT tomorrow. Right now, the UK has a lead by the slimmest of margins, with 51 people visiting today. Canada stands at 50. It looks like this contest will be close all week! I might lose control of my bladder from all the tension and drama.
As you know, the winning country receives nothing other than the world's admiration and the peace that comes with knowing they beat the other. The LOSING country, of course, is going to get mocked here in this space most harshly. It will be a mocking for the ages, a mocking that makes all other mockings throughout history pale in comparison. Remember the mocking the Chinese gave the Mongol hordes after they built the Great Wall? ("Hey Ghengis - let's see you get your horses over THIS! HA-ha!") THIS mocking will move that one all the way down to sixth on the list of Great Mockings in History. If you can believe it.
Let's wish both countries good luck in this contest to determine which is the better nation, and which is full of people who are weenies!
(c) 2013 John Puckett
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