Regular readers of this blog (all seven of you!) know that I sometimes joke about being a world-famous blogger. Now, I realize that this little blog doesn't have the impact of the great blogs of history, written by such legendary literary figures as Aristotle, Shakespeare, Einstein, or Kim Kardashian. However, I have been pleasantly surprised at the number of people who regularly visit this site from other areas of the globe.
Today, for example, folks from Russia, Germany, Denmark and Switzerland have stopped by to read stuff. A few months ago, six people from Ghana (Ghana!) read something here. They haven't been back, though, which makes me think something I wrote was horribly offensive to Ghanans (Ghanians?). If you happen to bump into them elsewhere on the Internet, please tell them I didn't mean it, whatever it was.
As you'd probably expect, the vast majority of folks who visit this site - something like 80 percent - are from the U.S., which is natural, what with me being a USian and all. However, a couple of other countries are regularly neck-and-neck (a Ghanese term which means "tooth and nail") in terms of the number of visitors each day. Those two countries are, as you might expect from the title of this post, Ghana and East Ghana.
No, seriously, it's Canada and the United Kingdom. The numbers vary from day-to-day, but in general around 60 or 70 people from each country stop by daily to read something. Today, for example, the totals so far are 60 for Canada, and 56 for the UK. Pretty nip-and-tuck (Ghanese again; translation: "hoof and mouth").
Which gave me an idea: Let's see which country can outdo the other in a week's time. So, the first-ever Follow the Man Rules Deathmatch Showdown was born!
The rules are simple: For a week, I'll keep track of the number of folks who visit this site from both Canada and the UK. At the end of the week, we'll see which country has had the most number of people visit the site, and that country will be declared the winner.
What does the winning country receive? Absolutely nothing. (There's not as much money in being a world-famous blogger as you might think, and I can't afford to buy a gift or a trophy for a whole country. Unless maybe it's Ghana.) However, the LOSING country will be mercilessly mocked in a special post here after the contest is over.
How will I mock them, you ask? That's a good question, because I don't have an answer yet. Probably say things like "UK attempted to deport all its soccer hooligans, but they realized nobody would be left if they did" or "Canada ... " Well, surely there's something noteworthy about Canada, but darned if I can think of anything at the moment.
Anyway! That's the deal. This contest will start at 12:01 a.m. CT on Sunday, May 19, and end at midnight on Saturday, May 25. So get cracking, all you Canadians and British folks! Tell your friends about this blog! Get them to visit and read a few things! This is your chance to stand forth and make your country proud! Or at least, avoid it being laughed at by six people in Ghana (if they ever come back).
Full disclosure here: Naturally, what I'm hoping will happen is that the overall number of people who regularly visit here will go up. It's my dream one day to become a multimillionaire celebrity who's famous for no reason whatsoever, but without having to do a sex tape to get my name recognized like some OTHER publicity hounds/bloggers I could mention (I'm lookin' at YOU, Aristotle).
P.S. Just thought of something mockable about Canada - curling!
(c) 2013 John Puckett
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