In the Bible, it says that a woman’s hair is a glory to her, so as a society we’ve come to expect women to primp and style and straighten and curl and perm and wave and color and spray and fluff and tease and roll and blow-dry their hair, all in a single 20-minute period while they’re getting ready for work. Some women will actually go through that entire process, then start over again from the beginning, especially if they know you’re waiting on them.
Men, though, shouldn’t go to this amount of trouble on their hair. It’s physically impossible to look manly while you’re preening in front of a mirror. I can’t remember the last time a man reported being ravished by his wife/girlfriend/partner because he looked so irresistibly hot as he sprayed Aqua-Net on his head after spending a half-hour carefully sculpting his ‘do.
Your hair goal is to look simple and rugged, as though your hair was the last thing on your mind. Wash and dry it - with a towel, preferably, although if you must use a hairdryer or a small furry animal to aid in the drying process, that’s permissible in some instances. Then either style it quickly with your fingers, a stiff brush, or a comb. You can put a little bit of goop or hairspray in your hair to help it stay in place if needed, but not enough to plaster it down or make it look weird.
The end result should be a loose, carefree look to your hair, not the creation of a bulletproof shield for your skull. You’d like for your partner to be able to run their fingers through your hair without getting them stuck or having to wash their hands immediately afterwards.
If you’re bald, or if you shave your head, modify this rule to read “Don’t Take Longer than One Minute to Polish Your Head.”
(c) 2013 John Puckett
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