Let’s be honest: One of the biggest reasons you want to attain Man status is so you’ll be more desirable to women. Ask any woman if she’d rather sleep with Starfleet Officer Pavel Chekov (regular guy) or Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise (Man), and without hesitation she’ll look you squarely in the eye and say, “My God, you’re a raging nerd, you know that?”
And, frankly, we Men need all the help we can get when it comes to women. Take, for example, the recent absolutely true news story concerning 56-year-old William Ernest Bush, who took his 54-year-old wife Janet and their grandson turkey hunting, during which excursion William Ernest accidentally shot his wife in the face and arm with a shotgun. Apparently his wife was in some bushes when she reached for something in her purse; William Ernest saw the movement and thought it was a turkey, so he shot her.
This incident raises several questions in my mind:
1) She took her purse on a hunting trip?
2) Was she storing her shotgun in it, or what?
3) How did William Ernest apologize to his wife for this? I mean, I have a difficult time getting my wife to forgive me if I forget to pick up butter when I’m at the grocery store. I can’t even begin to imagine how many times I’d have to say “I’m sorry” if I’d SHOT her.
4) Even IF (and that’s a big “if”) William Ernest’s wife was willing to forgive him for shooting her, how in the world does he get out of the doghouse when she asks him why he did it and he says, “I swear, Janet, you looked just like a turkey”? I think I’d have a better chance of my wife forgiving me for shooting her; she’d NEVER get over me saying something like that to her.
So that's why this blog was created: to set down a list of Man Rules to help you deal with women and avoid shooting them or telling them they look like turkeys. No need to thank me, although if you insist on doing so, crisp $100 bills are acceptable.
(c) 2013 John Puckett
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