Do you remember when you were little, and your mom or your kindergarten teacher or somebody like that would say “It’s time for your nap!” and you’d try to run and hide so you didn’t have to go to sleep? And depending on how much your mom or teacher or whoever cared for you, they’d let you hide for upwards of two days? Or maybe that was just me.
Anyway, my point is, at one time you actively avoiding napping. Scientists estimate that if you had just gone down for those childhood naps when you were supposed to, you would have been much more mentally alert and creative in your late teens and early 20s and would have invented Facebook, and as a result you’d have as much as $3 billion in a Swiss bank account today.
Nowadays, of course, you’d KILL for the chance to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Naps have even become a recruiting tool in some industries; many of the more worker-friendly companies* actually have “nap rooms” and encourage their employees to take a quick power nap during the day, because they believe it’s a refreshing and stimulating break and increases productivity.
Like all other kids, I didn’t understand the power of naps while I was growing up. Over the years, I realized the importance of naps by watching one of the greatest Men of this or any other generation raise napping to an art form. I’m speaking of my dad.
Dad lived through the Great Depression, fought in World War II and earned several medals, fathered two children, worked in a paper mill for more than 30 years, and has been a caring and loving husband for more than 60 years. Without a doubt, though, his greatest achievement has been developing and perfecting the ability to nap at any place and at any time.
Most often, Dad will take his naps in the recliner in his den. That’s not a problem when he’s just watching The Price is Right and decides the time is right for a quick snooze, but sometimes he naps when Mom thinks he shouldn’t, such as when she’s talking with him or when company is visiting. At one moment, Dad will be sitting in his chair, seemingly following the conversation or listening attentively, and the next moment his jaw has dropped, his head is lolling and he’s snoring like a congested wildebeest.
I used to be embarrassed when Dad would fall asleep while my friends were visiting, but now I realize just how brilliant he is. If he’s bored by the conversation, or if television isn’t interesting to him, why waste the energy to get up and go to another room or do something else? Dad’s theory is, “I’m comfortable in my chair, and this is my house, so by golly I’ll sleep here if I want to.”
Not that his recliner is the only place Dad has napped. Other notable Dad-nap locations include:
• On a wooden bench at the mall
• On the bleachers at a Little League baseball game
• At a gas station while waiting for his tires to be rotated
• Sitting in a waiting room prior to having major eye surgery
So naps are very important for many reasons, and you should take at least one every day. Of course, not all of us are lucky enough to work for a company that will allow us to nap while we’re at work. Many employers continue to harbor a short-sighted belief that sleeping should be done on an employee’s own time. To get around these regressive policies, try some of these proven napping techniques to steal 40 winks:
1) Work for a casket company. When you feel tired, simply climb into one of the display caskets and start to snooze. If your boss complains, explain that you’re making sure your company’s clients will be comfortable. You might even be able to finagle a raise out of it if you convince your boss that you’re serving as a life-size model for prospective customers.
2) Drop a pen under your desk. I’ve used this one many times at previous companies. Lean forward with your head resting on the edge of your desk, dangle your arm down as though you’re reaching for the pen, and snooze away. If anyone wakes you by walking into your office, simply grab the pen off the floor, grunt, and say “I thought I’d NEVER reach that stupid pen!”
3) Toilet time. Go to the bathroom, close the stall door, and sit on the toilet with your arms on your knees. Put your head on your arms and sleep. NOTE: Be careful not to fall off the toilet.
*Defined as "No company YOU'VE ever worked for."
(c) 2012 John Puckett
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