Man-Rule: Don't Be a Woman

We're approaching the third anniversary of the launch of The Man Rules, which is both weird and gratifying. Weird, because it doesn't seem like we've been doing this for so long, and gratifying, because we were told by officials at The International Blogging Authority that they figured we'd last three months, tops, before a complete lack of interest among the 7+ billion people on the planet would cause us to quit and go back to our usual nighttime regimen of toenail maintenance and burping.

But we're still alive and kicking, and we have to be honest: In the past three years, we've covered a variety of Rules that we never thought we'd have to actually write down. We figured many rules would be somewhat self-evident, like Don't Stick a Lungfish Up Your Butt or Don't Fork Yourself, but apparently there are some guys out there who still haven't fully grasped these essential points to being a Man.

We've got one more that falls in this category to talk about today. This Man-Rule is, really, the essence of being a Man, but apparently some people don't understand it. It's quite simple, really: Don't Be a Woman.

Now, don't get us wrong: There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a woman. Many of history's greatest people have been women. My wife, for example. But if you want to be a Man, then by definition, you shouldn't be a woman.

I think this scenario has gotten more attention lately because of a famous athlete who decided to forgo his life as a man and live as a woman. Frankly, we're not sure why this story has caught the public's eye as strongly as it has, but there's no denying it -- the thought of a world-class athlete, one of the best ever, changing his gender has igniting a firestorm of media coverage. We're speaking, of course, of tennis great Renee Richards.

Renee, as you know from the news, started life as Richard Raskin, but decided at some point to become a woman and underwent surgery in the mid-1970s. After that, she played professional tennis as a woman, and ...

What? Hold on, folks, we're getting an update from our news desk ...

It's not Renee Richards people are talking about? It's who? Bruce JENNER?! The Olympic hero? The guy who always looked clueless in the background on "Keeping Up with the Kardashians"? THAT Bruce Jenner?

Hang on a minute while we look over some news reports.

Okay, we're back. Sorry about that. We were caught a little off-guard there. You may not be aware of this, but apparently Bruce Jenner has decided to live life as a woman. But the Man-Rule stands: Since he (sorry, she) is now a woman, Bruce is no longer a Man. In fact, she has requested that she be called by her new name, Caitlyn Stark.

On behalf of all of us here at The Man Rules, we say: You go, Caitlyn Stark! We're sorry you're not a Man any longer, because part of us will always see you as the iconic athlete on the Wheaties box, but you follow your dream of being a key player in Game of Thrones! Although, we feel we should tell you, if you gave up being a Man to advise your son Robb as he became King of the North, it's not working out so well for you. Since, you know, you both were murdered at the Red Wedding by Walder Frey and his men.

So a moment of silence, please, for the passing of a great athlete, a great confused person in the colossal whirlpool of inanity that is the Kardashian family, and a terrible adviser to both Ned and Robb Stark: Caitlyn Stark Jenner. May she rest in peace.

At least until Lady Stoneheart shows up.

(c) 2015 John Puckett

Not sure if you're a man or a woman? We can help!

Our groundbreaking book, The Man Rules, outlines the 50 key Rules to follow to become a Man! Now, apparently there are a lot more guys out there who are interested in being a woman, but if you're a guy who wants to be a Man, we can help! If you want to be a woman, you're outside our sphere of influence there, but maybe you can find somebody else to help. Just don't ask George R.R. Martin, because even if he puts you in his books he'll probably kill you off. 

Anyway, our book can help you become a Man. Click the image below to read more about it, and buy today! Our sales numbers officially hit double digits last week, so we're on a roll! Don't be the last guy you know to read The Man Rules!