Man-Rule: Never Lie, Part III

Here at The Man Rules, we're not above reinforcing a previously stated Rule, especially if it gets us a quick entry and lets us go back to watching Dr. Phil, so we're going to reiterate a previously posted Rule: Never Lie. A recent story from NBC New York proves once again why this Rule exists.

According to the story, 41-year-old Dr. Zyad Younan, a cardiologist, went to a strip club and used his company credit card to incur more than $135,000 in charges for food, drinks, and "services."

Now, I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time I spent $135,000 on ANYTHING, much less on visits to a strip club. Being a world-famous blogger has its perks, but unfortunately it doesn't come with a massive paycheck. At least it hasn't for me; maybe I'm doing this blogging thing wrong.

Anyway, that amount sounds extreme until you consider it wasn't in a single visit. No, it was spaced out over four visits during a 10-day period. "Oh, okay," you're probably saying. "$135,000 would be a lot to spend at a strip club all at once, but if it was over four visits, sure. That's an average of $33,750 per visit, which sounds much more reasonable. Why, I spend that much on toilet paper in a month."

I'm sure Dr. Younan is a fine and upstanding member of the medical profession; his photo just screams "trust me with your heart palpitations":

... but I do have to question his intelligence in using his company's credit card at a strip club, particularly when you consider the company in question is a medical practice run by his father. It's bad enough to put $135,000 on a company credit card and have to explain to your boss why you did it. It's even worse when the itemized bill for the $135,000 shows food, drinks and 872 lap dances by Kandii. But the kicker would be having to explain to the boss, who is also your dad, why you didn't stop after, say, the first 200 lap dances.

Dr. Younan refuses to pay the tab, citing two key legal arguments that have stood the test of time for centuries:

1) "I wasn't there."
2) "Even if I WAS there, the club employees obviously drugged me."

The manager of the strip club, Stephen Hyman, says that video from the club shows Dr. Younan present all four times the card was used, and that the doctor never seems drugged on the videos.

So it's obvious that one of these guys is lying, and it's also obvious which one it is: Stephen Hyman. Just because Dr. Younan is seen in the club on videos when he says he wasn't there, that doesn't mean he really WAS there. Maybe he has an evil twin brother. (That happens all the time on soap operas.) I mean, if we're going to start accepting video evidence as proof that something happened, then I want somebody to arrest Walder Frey on Game of Thrones, because he's shown plain as day ordering people killed at the Red Wedding, and HE'S still running around free. And don't even get me started on Ramsey Bolton.

Or maybe Dr. Younan is just a selfless humanitarian. Maybe he was doing some undercover work for the cardiology community, testing the effects of naked women on the heartrates of strip-club patrons, and like all humanitarians, he doesn't want to be recognized for his work. Why, he could be a modern-day Albert Schweitzer! Only, you know, working in strip clubs instead of darkest Africa.

Whatever the truth may be, Stephen Hyman better watch out. All this lying is going to catch up with him one day, and then he'll be sorry.

(c) 2014 John Puckett