What's that in the rear-view mirror? Why, it's Esquire

Several months ago, we wrote a post about our desire to beat Esquire's Man Rules site in the Google rankings. Not just because all of us here at The Man Rules have a burning desire to be the best, but also because Esquire was ranked ahead of us when their content was amazingly lame. Seriously - they post truly stupid rules, like "There is no shame in a good mango." No, Esquire, but there is shame in posting crap like that. 

So we complained, and whined a bit, and generally moped around so much that friends and family members were moved to say "Grow UP already. It's just a stupid blog. Who cares where it's ranked in the Google search results?"

WE care. That's who.

That's why today, April 29, 2014, is a red-letter day here at The Man Rules. Today, for the first time in our brief history, we have passed Esquire in the Google search results. Let us say that again: WE HAVE PASSED ESQUIRE IN THE GOOGLE SEARCH RESULTS. That's right -- not ONLY are we finally on the front page of the Google search results for "man rules", but we're the fifth site displayed. Esquire is WAAAAAAAY down there at number 7. (Really! Go check if you don't believe us! But you better do it RIGHT NOW, because it'll likely change in a few minutes, and then we'll look really stupid for celebrating.)

We'd like to think that our hard work, talent and perseverance had something to do with this amazing surge in our popularity. But we're straight-shooters here at The Man Rules, so we have to come clean: this is due almost solely to our commitment to pay everyone who visits this site $100. (If you haven't gotten your $100 yet, please check with the concierge before you leave.)

No, seriously, it's almost entirely due to a single Man Rule we posted back in 2012, about wearing baseball caps backwards. For whatever reason, this post struck a chord with people around the world; it's been viewed more than 11,000 times to date, and linked at REALLY popular websites like Reddit and The Straight Dope. It's also caused a small number of people to strongly object to the Rule, which is truly sad, but we can't help it if people want to wallow in ignorance and non-Manness. 

Anyway, we want to congratulate Esquire for a race well-run, even though that at this moment (6:03 p.m. Central Time) we're at least two spots ahead of them in the Google rankings and our overriding impulse is to jump out of our chair, shake our fanny at the screen and shout "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo we beat you."

But that wouldn't be Manly. So we won't do it. 

For very long, anyway.

(c) 2014 John Puckett