You know, there are some pretty good ads out there ... ads that make you want to buy a particular product, or shop at a particular store, or visit a particular website, or whatever.
This post is not about those ads.
We've discussed an example of annoying ads in the past, when the goobers at Alabama Men's Clinic were flooding the airwaves with ridiculous radio spots. These ads were so bad that rush-hour drivers were routinely crashing their vehicles into lampposts, other cars, small lakes, camels, etc., all in an effort to avoid hearing them whenever they came on. Thankfully, those ads have abated somewhat. I still hear ads for the Alabama Men's Clinic, and while they're still dumber than a week-old box of rocks, they're not actively annoying.
Recently, though, I've begun noticing a television ad that might just give the Alabama Men's Clinic a run for its money in the stupider-than-dirt category ... and ironically, the ad is geared toward people who work in dirt for a living.
Specifically, farmers. Now, I've known more than a handful of farmers in my life, and by and large they're decent, hardworking, nice folks. Which makes the ad for FarmersOnly.com that much weirder.
FarmersOnly.com is a dating site. For farmers. You read that right ... a dating site dedicated to farmers. Their marketing slogan is "City folks just don't get it." That's right! The entire marketing strategy for this website is summed up in this statement: "You fancified city slickers don't understand how to date!" Go ahead and try to wrap your head around that concept. I'll wait.
In the meantime, let's talk about how stupid the ad for FarmersOnly.com is. Fortunately (or maybe not), the FarmersOnly.com commercial is actually hosted online at YouTube, so if you're not familiar with the spot you can enjoy how bad it is.
How bad is it? Well, the premise of the ad is that three good-ol'-boy farmers are talking in the barnyard while a dog lounges nearby and listens in. Naturally, the farmers are arguing about how large the fish was that one of them caught. One of the three farmers gets fed up with the argument and uses his fancified cell phone he just happens to be holding to search FarmersOnly.com for a beautiful woman who likes to fish. Of course, he finds one right away, and tells the other two "Boys, I found myself a date ... gotta go." Apparently just seeing the photo of the girl on his cell phone means he's secured a romantic liaison with her. Maybe I really DON'T understand the dating process.
THEN (and this is my favorite part), the two other yokels and the dog are in the barnyard again, presumably later that day, only this time one of them has (why not?) brought his laptop out there. The other is STILL talking about that cussed fish he caught, but Mr. Laptop wants to know the name of the website where you can get a date with a fish-woman just by looking at her picture. And the dog -- the DOG -- says, "FarmersOnly.com."
The over-the-top reaction of the yokels to the talking dog is priceless.
Apparently FarmersOnly.com has been running television ads since at least January of this year, based on ANOTHER ad I saw on the Awful Advertisements website. That ad features a stark departure from the stupidity of talking dogs, by focusing on a completely different approach -- talking cows. In that ad, some cows are eating hay and wondering when their owner is going to find a nice woman and settle down. They lament that he'll never find anyone by hanging out with them all day. I get the sense that the cows are somewhat desperate for the farmer to find a woman. One has to wonder why. If you get my drift.
What's strange to me is, these ads are running in markets that aren't especially farmer-heavy, population-wise. I live near Birmingham, Alabama, and say what you want about Alabama being a backwards state, you'll have to trust me -- there aren't a ton of farmers in this area. The ads have also run in places like St. Louis and Chicago, which (I'm told) are pretty big cities in their own way, and are similarly light on farmers.
So, to sum up: FarmersOnly.com has made some television ads featuring talking animals, geared toward farmers and saying that city folks "just don't get it," and they're running these ads in large cities where there aren't a lot of farmers. Sounds like a winning strategy to me!
I think they should fire whoever is running the marketing department, and get someone more qualified. I suggest the dog.
(c) 2013 John Puckett
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