Man-Rule: Backwards Baseball Caps, Revisited

It’s always my goal here at The Man Rules to be completely transparent. Of course, it’s also my goal to be a multi-millionaire and retire to the beach, but that’s not happening, so maybe I just stink at achieving my goals.

Anyway, as part of the whole transparency thing, I’ll share with you a very important fact: There’s one post I’ve made since this blog began that is far and away the most popular. I’m referring, of course, to the Man-Rule: Don’t Wear Baseball Caps Backwards. It apparently resonates with a number of people, because it’s been read at least 10 times more frequently than any other post I’ve made. It was written almost a year ago, and even today it's still the most-read post here.

Still, though, with anything that achieves massive popularity, there will always be a handful of naysayers. Why, even mega-successful director George Lucas came under a small amount of criticism for the most lovable, endearing character he ever created in the Star Wars universe: Jar-Jar Binks.

So I knew that inevitably there would be some misguided souls who objected to this Man Rule. And upon reflection, I realized there are dozens, if not hundreds, of groups of people who have sound, legitimate reasons for wearing a baseball cap backwards. I’ll list them here:

1)      Baseball catchers

Okay, so maybe “hundreds” was overstating it a bit. Other than catchers, though, there’s not really anybody who should wear caps backwards. Of course, I knew that wouldn’t stop some contrary folks from arguing the point, and sure enough, a couple of people have posted comments recently about that Rule. I’ll address those comments here.

Neither commenter cared to leave their name, which is fine – it’s a free country. The blog software simply calls them both “Anonymous,” so for our purposes I’ll call one Annie and one Mussie, because I’m just that clever.

Annie’s comment on the Man Rule was: “What utter self-indulgent bovine excrement” (except he didn’t say "bovine excrement"). "There’s nothing wrong with a cap backwards. You’re really going to tell me this doesn’t look sharp?” And then he linked to this photo:

I’m honestly at a loss for words, here. It’s my fervent hope that Annie was being facetious and sarcastic, in which case I say “Well done!” If he’s serious, though, WHOA. But to answer the question: No, Annie, this doesn’t look “sharp.” It looks the opposite of sharp. It’s anti-sharp. Dull, even. Except for the rolled-up jeans, of course. They just SCREAM “style.” Enjoy the sock-hop, you rebel, you! Let me know if you make it out of 1956 alive.

The second comment, from Mussie, was even less coherent. It said (and I quote it in its entirety): “to protect my neck from getting sun burned”

There you have it – Mussie’s primary reason for wearing a cap backwards is to keep his neck safe from the searing rays of the sun. Apparently Mussie has no problem looking like this:

Having said that, though, Mussie does have a point. I can’t help but wonder WHEN the powers-that-be in the Hat Industry will get off their lazy butts and make a hat that protects our necks.

I mean, how hard can it be? We’ve been wearing hats for HUNDREDS OF YEARS! Why haven’t they considered the danger to our unprotected napes and designed a hat for this very purpose?

WHY do daring fashion-trend-bucking rebels like Mussie have to intentionally wear a baseball cap backwards to protect their delicate neck skin, just because hat designers can’t think of a way to meet their needs?

It’s unjust, I tell you! It’s not fair! Mussie shouldn’t have to look like an uncultured, ignorant dweeb just because he wants his neck protected when he wears a hat! WON’T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?!?

Until Al Gore or whoever is in charge of hat design finally gets themselves in gear and fixes Mussie’s problem, it will be difficult to poke fun at him and say he’s not a Man because he wears his baseball cap backwards in an effort to protect his neck. Difficult, but not impossible. And I’ve never shied away from doing what was difficult.

That’s just part of being a Man.

(c) 2013 John Puckett